Bad Influences
by BlackPuma137
Summary: After IM2 and Thor. Coulson's remarks  "That guy never tells me anything"  sparks retaliation.


**Bad Influences**

Tony Stark strolled into his garage with a grin. It had been an okay week so far—a few missions to deal with in South Africa and Pakistan, but other than that, the week had been quiet and relatively stress-free. He was looking forward to spending the weekend updating JARVIS and the suit, and having a date night with Pepper.

In fact, he reflected, he was having a _very_ good week. Until he noticed that Agent Coulson had been the last to sign into his garage.

_Since when does _he_ ever come in? _He thought, frowning. Although Coulson and Fury were allowed access into the place and had access codes, they rarely, if ever, actually used them. And besides, JARVIS nearly always told him when they did use the place.

Tony typed in his code hurriedly, hoping he hadn't seen the new blueprints on his desk. It wasn't necessarily approved of by SHIELD yet, and Tony really did not want another argument with Fury. Any more fuel into the Anti-Stark fire and Tony was sure his life would get really complicated.

"JARVIS!" he barked, running to his desk once the glass doors slid open and checking the mess of papers gathered there. "Why didn't you tell me Coulson was here?"

"No need to get testy, sir," the computer retorted. "Agent Coulson merely wanted to know the classifications of all the suits you owned."

"Classifications?"

"Yes—manned or unmanned."

"What for?"

"He did not care to explain himself."

"Okay, next time? You better tell me exactly who comes in this door the moment they punch in their code."

"Sir—Pepper is accessing this area at this very moment. It is 1:45 pm, on the calendar day of-"

"Exclude Pep from this, will ya? And anything that I don't know, I'm standing right in front of?"

"Any_one_, sir."

"Shut up, JARVIS. Not interested," Tony snapped back.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of bed today?" Pepper asked, looking over her tablet as Tony fiddled with the papers on his desk.

"Always, whenever you're not there with me."

"I do have to get clothes sometimes, you know."

"I _thoroughly_ disagree."

"Sure you do," Pepper grinned. "But mind telling me what's making you such a sour patch?"

"You can't call me by Rhodey's nickname, you know. It's quite a talent to come up with these things, and you can't just use them on a whim-"

"Tony, seriously."

"You know, I think I'm going to go ahead and start copyrighting these things. JARVIS, could you pull up-"

"_Tony._"

"Agent Stuffypants came in—when was it, JARVIS?"

"Yesterday at noon, sir."

"Agent Stuffypants came in while I was in South Africa and he asked all-giving JARVIS here about what kind of suits I had."

"Oh, that's what you're upset about," Pepper said, grinning a bit as she returned her gaze to her tablet—completely oblivious to the frowning Tony.

"What do you mean? You knew about this?"

"Well yeah, it's not like I let complete strangers in-"

"Why didn't you tell me-"

"I can't believe you're so furious about this, though-"

"You're my assistant, and my girlfriend!"

"You're acting like a little child, you know. A child who became angry because he couldn't share-"

"You can't just let people in like this! The integrity of the information in here-"

"Let people in? _Let_ people in?" Pepper began to glow red with anger. "Agent Coulson isn't just people, Tony. He's one of our friends and allies! He's SHIELD, for God's sake, and though I know you enjoy being the bratty, rebellious-"

"Our friend? Our friend? What, do you have a crush on him?"

Pepper felt her jaw drop as Tony continued to stare at her, eventually breaking into a grin. "Oh my god, you have a crush on him! What is it, the suit? Is it the government suit that does it for ya?"

"Oh shut up, Tony. I don't have a _crush_ on Agent Coulson. I'm just wondering why you continue to act like a rebellious three-year old that insists on shutting his allies out. I'm sure Agent Coulson isn't after mass destruction of the world. He had a good reason for coming in, I'm sure."

"But why so secretive? He could've just asked."

"Oh please, because you're always so forthcoming with your information."

"Well, you know...it's just...it's just..."

"It's just that you don't like Coulson. Is that it?"

"Naw, he's alright. He's just-"

"You can't always expect everyone to trust you when you don't trust anyone. Least of all the very people you're _allowed_ to trust."

Tony snorted, but finally met Pepper's reproving expression. "Fine, fine...I just wish he wasn't so sneaky. Gives me the cripes."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest, Tony. Relax."

"Right, right."

"Tony," Pepper said, dragging out the 'o' in an annoyed voice.

"Mmm?"

"Tony!"

"What?" he protested innocently, turning round to look at her in a distracted manner. "I'll let it go, I promise," he said, after being the victim of another one of Pepper's death glares.

Pepper gave a harrumph, but finally turned to leave. "And by the way, you're taking me to dinner tonight. I refuse to have any more takeout this week," she said, as she made her way out.

"It's a date!" Tony yelled after her, enjoying the view as she retreated upstairs.

But Tony had his suspicions, and he wasn't going to just let them go. When Tony finally heard Pepper settle in the living room, he immediately turned to his computer.

"JARVIS, do me a favor and look up recent activity for Agent Coulson."

"From where, sir?"

"SHIELD database. Duh—where do you think you'd find that information? CNN?"

"Sir, the files you are authorized to access show no information regarding Coulson's recent activities, aside from activities that you were involved in."

"Then get into the files that show that information. Gods, to think I created you. You're acting like you were created by a five year old."

Within twenty minutes, JARVIS, with the help of Tony, had partially hacked into the SHIELD database.

"Sir, you have two minutes in which to view these files without alerting-"

"JARVIS, try to tell me something I don't know for once."

Tony went straight to the files created two weeks ago. This was a recent occurrence, and while Tony did want to get into Coulson's mind, he'd rather not create another fire under Fury. Lingering would only bring awareness to the breach in SHIELD's database (despite the kickass algorithm he had created) and thus, trouble.

But suddenly, Tony found what he was looking for: a video of some occurrence in New Mexico. As the shaky video played out, he could hear the SHIELD agent who was filming gasp in horror and focus in on Agent Coulson and a partner of his. Though he had to strain his eyes to hear it, Tony had to grin as the film caught a dialogue between Coulson and the partner:

_"Is that one of Stark's?"_

_ "I don't know. That guy never tells me anything..."_

As the film panned down and began to turn off, Tony gasped: he could see a glimpse of a suit that was otherworldly, a suit that Tony knew he just had to have.

"I gotta make this," he grinned. "This is fucking fantastic!" He quickly checked the folder again, but decided investigation of the folder named "Thor" wasn't worth it. Mythology never really appealed to him.

His glee was momentarily interrupted, though, when Pepper suddenly buzzed in. "Fury's on line one. He doesn't sound too happy."

Tony sighed. "JARVIS-"

"Already done, sir. Line one is on and the video has been copied to your database."

"What's up, Fury?"

"Why the fuck are my people telling me that a hacker has broken into some of Agent Coulson's files?"

* * *

><p>Tony was exhausted. For a week now he had been working day and night with no interruptions—feverishly trying to replicate the suit.<p>

Finally, with a sigh of happiness, he stepped back to take a look at his work.

Improvements could be made, surely, but he had checked Coulson's schedule and knew that there was only one chance to strike: during another visit to New Mexico.

_I wonder what's down there,_ he thought, but decided against hacking into his database again. No, for now he just had to make sure his present came in time for Coulson's arrival in the small town he had been visiting so frequently.

* * *

><p>Agent Coulson cracked his neck as he got off the plane and walked to his car. This goddamned dry heat made him restless and irritated. As did this whole "Bifrost" deal. Now he not only had to deal with Stark's incessant gloating during the meetings now with his official arrival into SHIELD, but the problem with Thor and his girlfriend, too. Superheroes—they always thought they were God's greatest gift to the Earth.<p>

It was as annoying as hell.

"Sir, you have a package," an agent said, running up to him with a clipboard to sign.

"A package? Who from?" Great. Another issue to deal with. Coulson immediately knew something about this package wasn't right. Bomb threat, some weapon from Pakistan? Africa? Russia?

"FedEx, actually," the agent replied, gesturing toward the clipboard.

Agent Coulson felt his eyes narrow. He signed the clipboard, then gestured at the agent. "Bring it over here, pronto. Get the bomb squad guys in and set up a bulletproof glass shield around the whole thing. Clear off the runway, too."

"Yes sir," replied the agent.

Within two minutes, Coulson and several dozen agents were staring at a twenty-foot wooden case behind a glass cage.

"What now, sir?"

"We wait for the bomb squad. We don't want to take any chances with this thing."

But just as Coulson was finishing his sentence, the case began to tear apart. Unfazed, Coulson merely watched as pieces of the case began to reverberate against the casing and agents began to shout out orders into their phones.

Their work was fruitless, however, as a suit began to rid itself of the last vestiges of the crate.

"Get Fury on the line, now!" Coulson shouted, "This is a repeat attack from Loki—it's the Destroyer! We have to get to Jane, tell her that-"

The suit kept going though, heedless of several agent's warnings through speakers. With a deadly glare, it blasted through the glass, melting it to the ground with a ferocity that made the last incident look like a princess's ballerina tea party.

Coulson felt adrenaline pump through his body as he and the agents retreated, pulling out various weapons and trying to shoot the suit down.

But suddenly, Coulson could only feel confusion as the suit abruptly stopped in front of him and began to deconstruct in front of him.

"Hold up, guys! It doesn't look like this is a hostile," he shouted to the agents behind him.

"Sir, protocol demands-"

But Coulson held up a finger, and instead moved toward the suit's chest, where a picture of Tony Stark grinned at him madly, and a scrolling text read: _Hope you're time in New Mexico is going well, and that you enjoy your gift. I'm a fucking genius, and don't forget it, yeah? Next time don't come into the lab uninvited and just ask.  
><em>


End file.
